Our trip back home with our baby

Dream Baby
Photo Courtesy: Pregnancy out reach.org

It feels like yesterday… How we stood in front of the bureaucrats almost begging them to sign the papers so that we could travel back with our son. The audacity they showed and their unsympathetic behavior towards life of such a small baby surprised me. It almost felt like it was a strong jealousy towards the baby getting a new life and wanting to do as much as they can to delay it. We were asked to come again and again and were made to stand in a queue for hours together with a 9 months old baby in hand. We thought we are going to be stuck for months in that place as they kept asking us for documents which cannot be produced without going through another level of bureaucracy in another set of government offices leading us to stay over in that place for unknown number of months. Well, paper work and process could be used so efficiently just not to punish people alone, but babies too. We even went to the other government offices, stood in the queue for hours only to be shown out of door saying ‘Just fill that form, get some authorized people to sign and attest it, and submit it’. No answer for how long it would take to get the document we need. Gosh, just recollecting those moments and time, I start to feel anxious just like how I felt at that point of time.

Finally it was a matter of money, but never asked in a direct way. The emotional state we were in, feeling so hopeless & helpless, and in a dilemma of not knowing if it was OK to ask them directly if it was a matter of money. We paid, got our paper work done, got out of that place like we have won a big battle and a lottery for a new life. This was only the last bit of what all happened during the one and half a month of stay.

Finally I had my tiny pretty doll in hand, towards the end of the trip we took him to a doctor so that we could get the needed medicines for our flight trip back home. When the doctor was checking him, he started crying hard and I went close to him to carry him in my arms, he kicked his legs and arms and didn’t want me to hold him. He wanted only his dad to hold him. I felt stumped, it was totally unexpected. I didn’t give it much of a thought or importance at that time. I thought – ‘Now I have my whole life to spend with him, when I get to be with him more he will feel secure with me too as he feels with his dad.’ More to come…

Adoption – Life changing event

Adoption

About 3 years ago, we got the happiest news of our life we had been waiting to hear for years. Our precious baby was just waiting to become a part of our family. We only received a couple of unclear pictures of him through a mail. It took another 4 months for us to finish the relevant paper work to go and bring him home. It was a dramatic trip with uncertain situations we had to deal with. We were there for one and a half month to finish further formalities. We came home with a beautiful 10 months old baby boy.

I hardly knew what I was up for in the coming months. It has been too tough a journey so far and we are trying to cope with things day in and day out. We have to admit that how much ever confident we were in us becoming parents, our adoption experience has shaken us up beyond our expectations. It is giving us fundamental lessons as we go through days, weeks and years in this journey, and has changed our life for ever. I am intending to share my experiences and lessons learnt in this tough journey of becoming a family with a hope of helping other parents in similar situations or aspiring parents. We are sure our learning is going to continue and grow year over year along with our baby.